Black power?

There's certain things you shouldn't say around people who are easily offended by shit that doesn't affect them. Like when a white kid gets pissed about you saying "Nigger". Or when an African American gets mad at you for saying "Gook".

This one I can understand as most "injuns" hate the white man for some reason. Something about killing them and stealing their land? Giving them diseased infested blankets and selling them guns, waiting for them to die and then stealing all of the stuff they sold them back? So, naturally I can understand why an Indian would get mad about me saying "White Power."


disclaimer- I am in no way, shape or form a white supremest. But the phrase "White Power" has came out of my mouth well over a thousand times. It's actually just an inside joke about my haircut.


When I said I look liked Jew, I wasn't kidding. Right now, as I'm writing this, I look like a holocaust victim, malnourished and overworked. I don't have a sweet black and white striped jumpsuit though. Shucks. I'm polish as fuck and it'd be a conflict of interest for me to be a Nazi skin-head. You know, because, Germany's killed well over a million Polacks in under five years, both Jew and non Jews. I think you might of heard of it. It was called World War II.



The good shit:

I'm at a buddies house, We'll call him Padlock. It was actually a gnarly party, lots of debauchery, piffarage, and biddies. Sadly, catalina was there so I couldn't pull the make out with her friend in the bathroom stunt. Again. Oh, no I still could. Just not here, the bathroom was in plain sight of the whole party.

Nothing to intense happened while the party was going on, but on my way out, It happens. I say "White Power" to one of my other buddies, Burg, while I'm giving the black panther salute. You know the one. The clenched fist, fingers forwards. A real big group of radical African Americans in the 60's. I actually have a lot of respect for this certain group. Their insane Marxist views and Ten Point Program is something that, even if you weren't black, you'd find as a good starting ground to turn poverty around.


Then the more white looking then me Indian steps up, furious, telling me that he doesn't like what I am saying. Alright. I get it. Maybe I was out of line for this next one, but as you could probably figure I always take everything to the extreme. On my way out of the door, I turn around and I say it again, with a massive emphasis on the black panther salute. What does the Indian do? Slams my arm in the door.

Alright. You crossed the line.

I have this weird thing with slapping men that I find doing silly shit. It started when I was about thirteen and this "gangstur" kid from down the street would always give me a hard time. We're at the local festival happening down town and he comes up to me on his bike and says some shit. I don't remember what it was as this was ten years ago, but I just cocked back and slapped him right in the noggin. He sat there in disbelief as his friends laughed at him and my friends called him a bitch. What's he do? Nothing.


How gangster. Watch out 2pac.


This is why I have a limited amount of respect for the Indian. He had the balls to stand up and say he didn't like what I was saying. Then he had the courage to slam my arm in a door. OK. But I'm sure every one knows what comes next.


A solid slap, from my right hand to his left cheek. Typically when I do this, I figure I'm about to get my ass kicked. I'm asking for it.


"You ever do something like that to me again and I will kill you!" As the slap heard round the world hits. Man, I really gotta stop saying the word kill before I get into fights.


What's he do? Shock and awe. Nothing. Alpha male in the fucking house.


oh, wait.

Me and catalina are walking out of the side door of the house out of the garage. At the same time Burg says to him, as he's trying to leave, "You do not want to do that". He opens up the door and just runs at me. As you probably figure I'm half in the bag walking to the car when out of nowhere I feel some one jump on my back and try to put me in a headlock. He actually succeeded there for a couple seconds until he got thrown onto the hood of another one of my friends cars. I guess there's a huge dent there, but don't blame me, I was defending my self.



Now, in his defence he told every one after that he was just playing around. Well, sir. I hate to break it to you, but I don't "play around" when I just slapped some one and told them I would kill them. If I went to attack some one from behind and ended up with their head breaking my face i'd make up some bullshit too.



For some reason, I have absolutely no idea why I thought of this. It was one of those spur-of-the-moment things. I grab him off the hood, put him on his feet, push him backwards, pull him forwards and smash the top of my head directly into his face. I go for a massive hay maker right after, and fail miserably. Why? Because he was already five feet away by the time I looked back up.

Turns out he's saying "No mas" while holding his nose and blood is pouring out. I actually had a cut on the top of my head, and I still have a scar there. I hate to say it, but it's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever done, well, except for using a Jetta to chase deer through a field while hammered at two in the morning. But I just learned I did that this morning. Go alcohol.



I've got two words for any one who wants to win a fight. Sucker. Punch. He really should of utilized this option as he probably would of knocked me right the fuck out. I did deserve a good knocking out that night. I'll give him that.

From what I heard, he ended up crying later on the sofa at the party. Man up, dude. It wasn't that bad. I've broken my nose like thirteen times in my life. Once for every sport I played. After this night, I stopped joking around about it for my own personal safety. It was only a matter of time before some one bigger than me sends me to the hospital because they don't understand sarcasm.

Why is alright for me to say Black power and give the Black Panther salute, but if I say white power and do the exact same hand motion it's like I just stabbed a nun and raped her? Doesn't make much sense.

But then again, not much makes sense to me.

I also just saw catalina creeping at the end of my street. Just sitting in her car. What a fucking creep. I wish she would just leave me the fuck alone and stop stalking me. I know she wants me back. Who wouldn't want a winner like me?