How to catch a liar 101. Part Un.

On average every one tells at least three lies every day. Most people tell upwards of ten lies a in a waken twelve hour period. Remembering all the lies is difficult for the liar. Whens the last time you lied? Was it about something stupid? A little white lie to make some one feel better? A full blown mental concoction that is that is designed at its core to make some one else feel like absolute shit?

When some one tells a lie, you really have to tell three more lies to corroborate the first lie. This is where you catch people slippin`. You let some one dig a hole that they can't climb out of and you attack them at their weakest. A little blitzkrieg de' bullshit, if you will.

"In an ideal society there would be no need for lies. But we all live in a world of deception. Whether you want to play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win?"

These are some tips written by a professional FBI lie detector. With comments and statements added by me for a fun factor. A human lie detector? I know it sounds like a bunch of hogwash. But this shit is of the hizzy.

The three most important parts to catching a liar is watching their eyes, body language and tone.

Body language

- People that are lying make little or no eye contact, or will stare at you to make sure their lies are believed.

- When lying, most people will have very little body movements as their mind is concentrated on the lie.

- Be wary of any one touching the face, or rubbing over the underside of the nose. There's actually a membrane in there that is used when people are being deceptive. You see peoples nose flair? Most likely a lie.

- Facial expressions will be delayed or contradict what the person is saying.

There's a common misconception with people about liars. Most people think that when some is called out being a liar they go on the offensive. This is opposite to the way things usually are. People who are innocent will be on the offensive as they feel they've been wrongfully accused.

Scenario: A man walks into to a Best Buy with a printer that doesn't work. The only thing the the person behind the desk has to say to figure out if the person is lying or not? Simple. He tells the man this. "It doesn't work because this piece isn't here."

Some one who isn't lying will say this "You sold me a defective product?!?"
Some one who is lying will say "I did not take it out."

See what I mean?

- The liar will literally build a wall with whatever objects they have in front of them. A beer can. A cell phone, anything. This will all be done subconsciously. Folding of the arms and a lack of movement come into play here.

- There will be no physical contact, nor will there be any pointing.

- Subconsciously they will start to move towards and exit or back away.

I started trying to learn about all these things to weed the people out of my life who are liars and dramatic and over the top. The last girl I dated was also a compulsive liar. Would lie about absolutely nothing for no reason what so ever.

Quick run down of how I caught her being deceitful.

I needed a job badly. I was in serious debt and needed to find a job post haste. Luckily for me I was dating such a wonderful girl that she said she would get me an application for a restaurant that was opening in town.

Out of curiosity I went to the website to check out what the menu was. I started looking for an online application. Hm. Didn't have one. I thought for sure they'd be up with the times and living in the 21'st century for finding people to work there. So I logged that in my memory banks that they didn't have an online application.

The next day catalina picks me up with her friend and her boyfriend after they went to some escort service to try to get a job "going on dates" professionally. Yeah. I shit you not. She tried to convince me that it wasn't an escort service. But even on the website for this shit it has the saying "Go on dates with beautiful women, any time and for any occasion." All for a flat fee of $100 an hour.

hm. Date? Money? Beautiful girl? Sounds like a escort service to me, But what do I know? I'm only twenty-three. I've only gotten hookers three times. I wouldn't know anything about how they operate.

Remember the restaurant application I told you about?

She tells me that she printed me out one from the website. http://www.texasroadhouse.com/ Go ahead, go there and try to find an application. If you do I'll suck your dick or let you fuck me with a twelve inch black dildo if you find one. I'm into that.

She starts telling me, while staring at the floor in the backseat of her friends car, That she printed it out and that's how she got hers. Alright. I'll go with this. I'll just ask some more questions. "Where did you print it out?"

"At my house." She replies with her arms crossed and staring at the floor still.

"Which printer did you use?" I'm just staring at her posture. She looks up at me and says that she "Used her mothers." She backs away a little leaning towards the window. Proceeds to try to change the subject asap. Which is pretty much her modus operandi when you try to get information out of her when she's lying.

Alright. this is good, I just got her to lie three times about the same thing. I wonder how far I can go with this. "Why didn't you bring it here?"

You get the point. Several lies about one thing and it takes her several seconds of thought to figure out her next lie.

"I just didn't bring it."

That was it from there. At that very moment I realized that this girl will never change. She will always be a liar and if she could lie about something so mundane as a job application. What else has she lied about? I'm sure some one telling a little white lie about something that retarded would lie about the mass amounts of cock entering and disengaging her flaps.

I just shove this gem of a situation into my brain. I just get over it and pretend to act like I'm sick so I can sit and stare out the window. We were going to a movie with her friends as I stated earlier. I didn't want to blow up on her about something so stupid and ruin four peoples nights with one persons lies.

Talk about having some one special.

The way things are said can be more important then the words them selves. You have to detach the linguistic part of the encounter. This is where tone comes into play.

- Some one who is lying to you will use conjunctions less frequently. When asked "Did you cheat on me", if the answer is "I didn't cheat on you" 60% of the time they're being honest. When some one says "I did not cheat on you." I'd be wary.

Bill Clinton - "I. did. not. have sexual relations with that women" Also, people will use disassociation such as "that women" instead of just "her" or their name.

- Depersonalized responses. When asked "Did you cheat on me?" Watch out for "You know I'm not into doing that." Most people try to skip around the yes or no part by telling another lie. They try to convince you that that's not them. They would never do that to you.

You starting to get it yet?

- Liars will typically keep adding information to make sure you're sold on what they're saying. This is the best way to make some one fuck up and make mistakes. Just let them keep talking. You'll have a more solid backbone for the blitzkrieg.

- Watch out for this. "You don't believe me, do you?" People who are telling the truth will not be asking for your reassurance.

I've gotten the dipstick up my pee-hole a couple times to test for those fun things we call Sexually Transmitted Diseases. That was in the last couple years though. When I was eighteen or nineteen years old I didn't want anything to do with that shit.

We all know women though. Always wondering if us men are riddled with diseases. Usually the response I would give was "Oh, yeah I got tested last month. You have nothing to worry about. I came out clean and free of everything."

This is where I fucked up. I didn't realize that in an honest conversation some one will answer the question, then ask a question back. I never asked her if she had gotten tested. Luckily for me, though, She didn't know about the science of lies.

- When telling a story a liar will leave out the negative aspects. There's always negative aspects to a situation.

- The phrases "To be perfectly honest." To tell you the truth," Massive indication of deceit about to come out of their mouth.

- The phrase "I don't want you to think that..." This means that it is exactly what they want you to think.

I don't want you to think I'm a massive douche bag.

- Watch for when facts, figures and statistics are multiples of one another.

This ones tough to explain, but I figure most of the people who are stupid stopped reading awhile ago.

To throw you off, a liar who is doing something deceitful will point the blame at some one. Let's say that your girlfriend is fucking all of your friends behind your back. She'll probably say something like "OMG my friend is such a slut, she's making out with one of her boyfriends friends!"

Your impression is that if he dislikes how her friend is just kissing her boyfriends friend, she could never do anything like that to you.

- If some one lies about anything, everything they say is questionable.

Eyes

You know the saying ... "The eyes are the window to the soul." This is fundamentally true for any situation. You can tell by some ones eyes if they're afraid, or happy, or just being a liar.

I really shouldn't let any one ever know what Neuro-Linguistic programming is, but as I stated earlier most of the idiots should of stopped reading by now.

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies_eyes.php

Check that out for a bit and get back to me.